


pull me out of the dark so i won’t feel so alone anymore

by etherealharry



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band), zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: ?? - Freeform, Bottom Harry, Fluff and Smut, LMAO, M/M, Throuple, Top Louis, Top Zayn, Zourry - Freeform, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, soft, zarry - Freeform, zarry stylik, zouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 19:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15758388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealharry/pseuds/etherealharry
Summary: Two anxious people wander out of a club together. One likes green, the other likes blue. One is warm, the other is cold. The colors find more meaning, and they become fire and ice when they’re near each other. Eventually, they meet another, and they all melt into each other.





	pull me out of the dark so i won’t feel so alone anymore

**Author's Note:**

> hiii~ so this story is gonna mean a lot to me because i connected my own anxiety with it and it resulted in this.. enjoy!
> 
> twitter: etherealkilos  
> snap:abstractablee

Harry wouldn't say that he had a bad childhood. Although he has suffered through numerous amounts of loss and grief, he wouldn't particularly say that it was bad or terrible. He had no struggles and everything was already taken care of for him. He loved his childhood, every single part of it, the people in it, the things he has seen and the places he has been. He would always be found wandering around town with his hands in the pockets of his grey hoodie, his head down and his chocolate brown curls in his face when he was in primary school. Everyone knew him, everyone always saw him around and his name was well known with people, and yet... 

He felt invisible.

And it's not anyone's fault that he felt invisible, he brought that feeling onto himself. That's what his anxiety made him think; that everything was his fault and every feeling he had that was brought onto him was just a ball of emotions that he brought onto himself. He never really blamed anyone else for anything going on in his life, he blamed himself. When his grandmother died, he blamed himself for not being able to say goodbye to her. When his hamster died, he blamed himself for not being there to keep an eye on her. All in all, he was just constantly anxious, nervous about every little thing. No amount of medication given to him could help, no matter how much they upped the dosage. It didn't help. Ever since the incident in seventh grade, he's become more introverted, almost like a hermit crab that was trapped in his shell. He didn't want to come out, not at all, and he never really planned on it. He didn't want people in his business and he didn't mind if people didn't want to be in his, he could care less about what people thought about him - but at the same time, he cared about what everyone thought about him. It was a terrible way to be, but he couldn't help it. Besides, he was the type of kid in school to keep to himself with a small friend group around him,(a group that took so much courage to make) but as soon as they all graduated high school a few years back, everyone seemed to have forgotten about him. Only one of them continued to make contact with Harry, and the others all seemed to be distant and busy with their lives. They were all extroverts, and to say that Harry was jealous of that would be a complete and utter understatement. He always wanted to be that way, he wanted to be the kind of person that could make friends wherever he went, but instead, he always seemed to struggle when at the cash register when he was grocery shopping or even when he was just buying himself a pack of gum. He felt forgettable, but he didn't mind... Really.

Or did he?

Being forgotten was one of his biggest fears, it was actually his most major fears besides being trapped in a tight space or being alone in the dark without anything to hold, (which is why he still has a teddy bear at the ripe age of twenty-four) or.. Or being alone in a crowd with people he didn't know. Or perhaps being drunk and in public when there was no one to help him out and he was completely vulnerable to the world around him. His heart was beating out of his chest just thinking about it... Being alone, by yourself, completely fucked up out of your mind and probably doing whatever person you'd get your hands on. Harry had another fear of being taken advantage of at his most vulnerable moments and since he was going out tonight with the one friend he had left, he had to make sure that they didn't leave him alone while they went off to dance with other chicks and possibly find a mate... Or something like that. Harry didn't really know much about relationships, not because he didn't want one, but because he feared that his crippling anxiety would annoy anyone he was with. He felt like he would constantly be apologizing for everything... Because that's just how he was.

Now that he was out and about, he started regretting it. His friend brought him to a club and he was stuck sitting at the bar while his mate went off with god knows who. His finger was busy circling around his glass of water as he felt the bass of the music vibrate under his feet. He knew that he’d be crying and shaking soon, and he was just waiting for it to kick into his system. He was bouncing his leg and his breathing was becoming heavy until he felt an unknown presence sit down right beside him. His eyes widened, he kept his head down. Even though someone was sitting right beside him, he didn't want to be noticed. However, putting his head down and recoiling himself into his jacket isn't helping much with his situation. He could feel their eyes on him, he knew he was being stared at, he had a feeling. And if they were talking, Harry couldn't hear a damn thing because of how loud the music was. He felt a poke on his shoulder which immediately threw him into defense mode and just as he was about to put his fists up in order to defend himself, he heard the person beside him sniffle.

“Can you help me? Please?”

Harry didn't respond for a moment. He still has his head down but decided to lift his head. He was soon met with blue watery eyes, rosy cheeks, and a shaking hand. He still didn't respond, but he could tell that the lad that took a seat next to him was having an anxiety attack and needed to leave. The stranger took his silence and worried look as an answer and began to speak again. “I need to get out of here but I don’t want to go alone. My friends left me behind, I lost them in the crowd, and my chest is so heavy, I can’t… please help me. You're the only other one that's alone here.”

He was right. Harry was alone, and the fact that he was told that he was alone lit a match inside of him that just made him want to punch everything in sight. He couldn't help it, he felt and acted on impulse, but he needed to help this lad out of here. Without another word, he nodded and stood up. It stayed silent as he helped him through the crowd and out the door - something he would never do on his own. He had to take deep breaths as he did so, his body was trembling and every fiber inside of him was on fire. He himself was on fire, he was crying fucking fire, but it seemed as if the person he was helping was crying ice. He could tell that he had anxiety as well, but he was more so calm than Harry's was. They were almost out, the door was closed, Harry felt like flames were crawling up his hand before they were both outside and the cold air slapped him right across the face. He still didn't say a single word, but he turned around to see the person he decided to help out of... Well, impulse. They were still crying, shaking, but they were rubbing their eyes and trying to recollect themselves. 

“What’s your name?” The blue-eyed lad standing across from him asked.

“Harry.” He stated, rather blankly.

“Thank you for helping me, ‘arry.”

“Harry.” He said again, a bit louder this time, which only made the boy in front of him laugh and smile. His hands were shaking and his eyes were still full of tears, they were rolling down his cheeks and he was sniffling. The other moved, lifted his hand and pressed it against Harry's cheek as he wiped his tears away. His hand was cold against harry's warm and flushed skin, which only made Harry cry more and more until he felt like he could have a whole breakdown right then and there just because of how nervous and purely anxious he was. He couldn't help it. He was about to break down right in front of a person that he didn't even know the goddamn name of. They were standing in silence for a while... That was until Harry broke down into sobs and whimpers as his hot tears continued to roll down his flushed cheeks and he was sniffling as if he just snorted a line. 

 

“Hey..”

“Don’t hey me! I don't even know your name and yet here I am breaking down right in front of you outside the club we just left because I can't handle anything! I can't handle anything my by myself and neither can you if you needed ME to help drag you out of that hell hole. Your skin is cold and I liked the way you wiped my tears away when you looked at me. I don't know your name but I'm already infatuated with your touch and I'm not even drunk! I just had water and yet here I am, yelling at a fucking stranger at the top of my lungs because I can't handle myself on my own and my feelings burst out of me like the thunderstorms that cause flash floods, like... Like the way, I..”

“I’m Louis.”

“What?”

“My name, it's Louis.”

They both stood there in silence once more, Harry was coming down and Louis was going up. It was clear that he felt better now that he was away from a social setting, but Harry just felt like absolute shit. Not only because he just screamed his head off at a guy he just met, but because he was infatuated with him. He wanted to be the one that he took home, but he was scared of whatever he had felt. It was really his first time having felt like this... And he's twenty-fucking-four. He didn't even have a high school sweetheart because he was just so shy and no one was interesting enough to catch his eye the way this lad - Louis - had caught his attention. He didn't know what to say, and Louis didn't know what to say either but Harry could feel his eyes, it was almost like he could feel his eyes on his skin. His warm, flushed skin, that felt like it could catch fire at any given moment. He didn't want to, not in front of this guy, not in front of the beauty that he escorted from a bad environment. He took in a deep breath, tears still rolling down his cheeks before he felt that familiar cold hand upon his cheeks again. 

“Hey. Its okay, I know you're upset and I can tell that you hate public situations or.. Feelings. I don't know you either. I'm half as anxious as you, yet here I am with my hand on your face just to calm you down. I'll tell you about myself so I won't have to b a stranger anymore. I'm Louis William Tomlinson, I work in an office and I'm twenty-six years old as of December twenty-fourth. My favorite color is green and I really like soccer. It's okay, you're okay. It'll be okay, I promise you.”

 

This was the type of reassurance that Harry never heard before. The type of reassurance that Harry never knew he needed inside. His eyes were locked on Louis’ own as he spoke to him, traveling down to the way his lips moved when he spoke and then to his jaw. His breathing was calming down, but tears were still rolling down his cheeks no matter how hard he tried to stop crying. He didn't want to be a mess, but he was. A complete and utter anxious mess. He never thought that someone would ever reassure him like this. He's always been the type to think that everyone would shut him out whenever he is having an episode. He felt like everyone would rather not have someone so anxious around, but Louis didn't seem to mind. It was the first time in his life that he didn't feel like a burden to anyone he was with, and even though they just met barely twenty damn minutes ago.

But they got along, they got along more than anyone they have ever known and it made Harry feel warm inside. It made Harry feel like he was important and it gave Harry the feeling that he's been craving for all of his life. To be wanted, protected. The way Louis spoke to him made him feel okay. They were walking down the street at two in the morning, giggling with each other about how strawberry milk cannot be natural because there is no such thing as strawberry cows. Louis’ arm was wrapped around Harry's shoulders and Harry's arm was wrapped around his waist as they walked side by side down the sidewalk with grins on their faces. He was sure that people who would pass them by would think that they were drunk, but they were just... Happy. happy to find someone exactly like then and happy to be in the presence of someone who needed the company of one person at the moment. Harry was happy, truly happy, that was until they got up to the door of Louis’ flat and Louis had his back turned to him as he unlocked the door. 

“Are you going to leave me?”

“I wouldn't dare think about it.


End file.
